Pago 2 POST SCRIPT A P R IL 1, 1952 Franklin County Civil Def. Prog. Outlined POST SCRIPT SCRIBES M A NAGING EDITOR: Earl Stacy STAFF LITERARY: Harry Bellows Tall Timber Frank Eiser PH O T O G R A P H Y : Joe Krochina LAYOUT: Harry Bellows Frank Eiser SPORTS: Jack Armstrong REPORTERS: Bob Thomas Hotel News Bill Barry Al Lippay Bob Pick Neil Lukow BUSINESS M ANAGER: Joe Mottolcse CIRCULATION : Don Tromhlay Larry Abt ADVISORS: Dr. McKee Mr. Tyldesley Mr. Valenti Published monthly by the students of Paul Smith's College. Member of Inter-Collegiate Press. A Golfing Experience — by Bill Barry — The other day, feeling in an athlet- ic mood, I accepted the invitation of friend of mine and went with him to his club for a round of golf. He warned me that it was a sporty course, but this was an understate ment to end all understatements. I've seen long courses, but this is the only place I ever heard of that gives you a lifetime pen with your score card. W e went into the clubhouse, a large swanky-looking place with a Red Cross banner flying from the flagpole on the roof. Off in a corner, two men were arguing. One, unobtrusively clad in chartreuse plus-fours, argyle stockings, black and white shoes, fuschia shirt and ascot tie, implored a haggard looking man with a week's beard. His plaintive voice reached our ears. “ But Ernest,'' he wailed, “ You need sleep and a good meal. Your child ren don't remember you. Your wife is beginning to look at other men. Your business has gone to pot. Pot, do you hear that, -Pot! Come home, Ernest, come home, Ernest, come home before it's too late.\ “ Get away!\ the old man growled. “ After I rest a minute and revive myself with a bit of hard tack and a nip of brandy. I'm going to play the second nine. Dont 'you see, I can't quit now. I'm halfway through.” “ I shan't let you go on, Ernest, I shan't, shan't, shan't do you hear, shan't.\ Ernest's flashy friend dropped his plum-colored handkerchief and when he bent over to pick it up, Ernest kicked him under the table, grabbed his clubs and ran toward the tenth tee. Suddenly I felt very unathletic, I but my friend had paid the green fees and cheerfully led the way to the i first tee. I noticed that he was | carrying a box of golf balls. “ How many balls did you buy?\ I asked. “ O nly a dozen,\ he answered. \I hate to carry more, but don't worry, j there's a pro shop at the end of the third hole.\ Now I knew that the afternoon would be a pleasant one. W e ap proached the first tee. To the right were kennels where St. Bernards with kegs on their collars were kept. At the left of the tee was a stand at which one could rent motorcycles by the day or week. Apprehensively, I teed up a ball, stepped up and hit it two hundred yards down the fairway. At that point it disappear ed into a gaping trap. My friend's shot was over the trap and in good position. After I climbed down a rope lad der into the trap, beat two hungry lion cubs to death with a nine iron and found the ball resting on a lily- pad in the pond, I managed to get a good shot back into the fairway. My next shot had to go between two rows of trees, down a corridor which was only two feet wide. After ten or twelve tries, I made it. On the other side of the trees there was a pond, two hundred yards across. Luckily, my shot made it but I lost an hour trying to rent a boat. The green was interesting. On a 70 degree incline, it had trees growing all over it. It was nothing, but I seven-putted. W h en we left the green, I noticed that between it and the second tee, there was a chasm eight feet across and several feet deep. Idly I asked my friend how we crossed. W ith a laugh he simply said, “Well, I won the last hole.\ W ith my toes on one side and my fingers clutching the other, I made, for my friend, a human bridge. It wasn't so bad having him walk on me, but his spikes tore my shirt. W e teed off for the second hole and it began all over again. Lion- filled traps, dense jungles, gaping chasms and bottomless lakes dotted the course. I lost 8 golf balls, sev eral assorted clubs, fifteen pounds and my self respect on the first nine. W e were gone the better part of a week, but we had a swell time at the party they had for Ernest after he finished the 18 holes. Poor Ernest wasn't there, though. He was buried the day before. His widow looked very pretty and a little proud as s' accepted the gold plated ball which Ernest had used to sink his last putt. T- A L L T I M B E R Congratulations to the Houghton family on their new arrival. W h at a man! W atch Paul Smith's grow! The Foresters at P. S. C. have had many interesting speakers in the last few weeks. From the Conservation Department we heard from Bill Pet ty about the problems of land and water conservation in this s t a t e . Greenleaf Chase, from the Wildlife Department, gave a resume on the wildlife problems he has faced. Dr. Mason Lawrence, of the Fish eries Department, spoke on pond and stream management and rehabilitation in conjunction with improvement of fishing throughout the state. Al Bratton, a consulting forester, explained the principles of Forest Taxation. Professor J. Davis explained the research projects in Forest Economics and land use studies that are being carried on in this state. Mr. Larson discussed the economics of the Adirondacks. Old W h ip W ielder has got his bush tapped. According to all the info, he is getting, it sounds as if he will have to do some reaming be fore the season is over. (Even inex perienced, uncoached feminine guests lend their advice.) The Commander and Ack Ack have been doing some exterior de corating on the Sugar Shanty with striping brushes. If “ R ainbow\ is looking for an assistant Ski Instructor, he should contact “W ild W illie\ Rutherford. He was doing a pretty good job teaching his forestry class the tech niques of cross country. His most advanced student is “ Slingshot” Bill Jr. LOST A N D FOUND: If any one finds a pair of eyes, they belong to “ W alrus” Amer. He lost them at the W inter Carnival. Art Browne has joined the Saefty First Council at P. S. C. The offi cers are: Pres. — Choppin’ Charlie Kirche By virtue of his age and experience. Vice Pres. — The Dutchman. Sec. — A rt Browne Keeper of sharp tools — Bob Kra mer. In a recent assembly Major Char les M. Scott Jr., Director of Civil Defense for Franklin County, was one of several speakers including Mrs. Harriet Ellis, Assistant-chief of the W elfare Division, Maurice Plumb, Chief of Plant Protection Division, and G. Berton Davis, C iref of Con trol Division. It was important that Franklin County has been designated a non- target area which means that the most of the work in case of an emer gency will be to assist other com munities and to receive evacuees from large cities. On the organisation chart, the Chairman of the Board of Supei- visors has an advisory council com posed of twelve members. The Dir ector supervises the civil defense pro gram through his chief of staif, c!o- 1 puty directors, and legal advi'/ni. The civil defense program is divided as follows: Police services, fire r- vices, plant protection, transportation, aircraft warning services, medical ser vices, public works, public utilities, welfare services, communications, con trol center, administration division, training division, and rescue services. In the event of an emergency there are two warnings and one all clear signal. First the yellow alert which is confidential and will be flashed only to key personnel; and second, the red alert, a general warn ing that an attack will come at any moment. Immediately after the all clear or white alert has sounded, all civil defense personnel will report to their points of mobilization. In conclusion Major Scott stressed the need for civil defense workers. He also stated that the civil defense program for Franklin County is being completed to meet national require ments. M OTHERS DAY IS MAY 11. Don’t forget her. Send her a card or flow ers. NOTICE! The pillow Joe Kro used to sit on is missing. He makes an appeal asking you to help him find it. The REWARD: You can take it to your classes for one day!— Invitations are open for any new members who care to pay the initi ation fee. CHRISFUCIOUS SAYS: Man who burns pans gets scorch ing retort. W e hear that the Dutchman is in terested in a Fisheries Course. He wants to find out what a legal trout looks like. Bellows TH IN K S he knows.